I've been doing this mum thing for 2 and a bit years now, and the one thing I have always struggled to come to terms with, is the lack of personal space, or 'me' time. To put it bluntly, I can't handle this constant 'people in my bubble' feeling! This has doubled since having Eliana 8 months ago. You would think the lack of sleep would be the worst thing, and that part is completely horrible, but deep down inside, I know that one day we will find sleep again. However, this constant giving of myself to another, is damn hard work! (Cue mummy guilt) I love my girls more than anything in this life, their giggles and smiles make my heart sing, and I wouldn't change anything about them, but by god, they're full on.
We had a particularly tough weekend, and I guess I'm still feeling a little precious today. I'm craving a good book, a nice cuppa and my bed, or a nice long chat over a glass of wine with my bestie, but we all know that's not gonna happen! It doesn't help that today I have a particularly cuddly velcro baby, and a toddler that has elevated mummy to the position of her favourite toy... she's been constantly playing with my hair, my earrings, my clothes etc. even though she has enough toys to sink a battle ship! Most days I love the cuddles, and usually, any old excuse to leave the washing and the dishes will do me... But today, if someone was to whip out the old- 'They're only little once, enjoy every single moment' I would probably give them a high five in the face with a chair... I mean, today it's struggle town population- Me!
Ironically, pre-babies I hated going anywhere solo! I never wanted to go grocery shopping by myself, and I wouldn't have even considered going to a movie on my own... But now? Give me that movie popcorn, a dark room and a comfy chair any day, I literally jump at the chance to go out on my own for a few quiet minutes. In fact just yesterday, I wandered around the local Westfield on a solo shopping trip. The fact that I only bought stuff for the girls, and came home with absolutely nothing for myself is probably another mummy-issue that I'll deal with in a later post.
There are days now, since the perpetual sleep fighter Abbie has stopped napping (can you tell that I'm a little bitter about this?), that I cannot wait for daddy-daycare to get home! I want to do a handover and hide in the wardrobe with a glass (or three) of wine. It's a struggle to make it through till 6.30pm when they're both in bed! Some days, Nath and I might spend a grand total of one hour together, before I call it a night... Especially when teething, colds or wonder weeks come to town. I feel like re-introducing myself to him, we almost need to start all over again, cause let's face it, we don't get much time to enjoy each other's company anymore. In those two and a bit years, we've only had 4 kid-free outings together! So, in lieu of date nights, we're working on some new ideas, or ways to get some more 'me' time for both of us.
So I guess to get through today, I'm going to occupy my darling toddler with a few movies, find a spot in corner with a cup of tea, and I'm going to try and ignore the growing mess... I'm also going to try and remind myself of what I do have that is totally amazing, that 6.30pm will come round faster than I think it will right now, and that I'm more than likely not the only mother in the world that feels this way... AND that it could always be worse right?
Behind the blog...
‘The Mummysomniac’ is a lifestyle, motherhood and most recently, pregnancy blog, founded in 2015 by Kirsty McKenzie. She’s a mum of three, blogging about the highs and lows of motherhood, with a straight forward and honest approach, as well as a little bit of humour. Kirsty is passionate about sharing the realities of #MumLife, not the cookie cutter, high gloss version