When it comes to discipline, I find it incredibly difficult to ask for advice, mostly due to the fact that it's such a personal thing. No two parents, households or children are alike. My two girls, at the same age are incredibly different in how they respond to discipline, I simply cannot treat them the same way, it just doesn't work. So merely throwing a few choice phrases at someone, without knowing the ins and outs of how their household runs, is alway going to be a hard pill for someone to swallow. On the flip side, I often find it hard to tell people exaclty how we discipline our children. Lets face it, this motherhood gig is rife with judgement, the second you open your mouth there's someone willing to judge you for your choice, and how you discipline (or lack, in discipline in their eyes) is high up on the list.
Yet still, these Christmas holidays when we got schooled in paretning, it came as a bit of a surprise...
It happens to most of us at some point in our parenting journey. Someone comes along, and attempts to school you, someone that clearly knows better than you, and often times (and as was the case for us) they don't even have children of their own yet. They're just throwing lines at you like,
'Well, I got smacked and there's nothing wrong with me'
'But seriously, how hard is it to say no? I would have (insert suggestion) by now'
I'm sure most parents sit and wonder at times if they're epically failing in the discipline department, and if in fact one day their kids are going to turn out to be evil masterminds, or in the very least Kleptomaniacs... In some ways I should probably try and view it in a 'glass half full' kind of way, and try and appreciate the fact that these people possibly care enough to offer advice, but advice my friends, is only something that should be given if asked for.
In this household, smacking our children as a way of discipline is not first up on the list of things to try. We choose to operate a different way, exhausting many other avenues, depending on the incident, before heading down that kind of path. Yet, we try to remain judgement free when it comes to how others discipline, it's just all about individual choices. As I said earlier, there are no two cases exactly the same, so how can I judge another for treating a situation as they see fit?
Just like many elements of parenting, so much has changed from 'The good old days'. We simply can't, or don't parent like they used to... and there are so many reasons why that's the case. What should remain though, is the fact that how we choose to discipline our own children, is no one else's business. Whether I choose to use a 'time out' strategy, negotiate with my child, or count to 356,000 before acting upon my warning, then that's my perogative. I throw this one in the same basket as judgement within the 'breast vs bottle' debate, the co-sleeping argument, or a woman's choice to birth her way... if someone has enough time on their hands to judge another parent over any of these issues, then I guess that's because they're already the perfect parent.
Behind the blog...
‘The Mummysomniac’ is a lifestyle, motherhood and most recently, pregnancy blog, founded in 2015 by Kirsty McKenzie. She’s a mum of three, blogging about the highs and lows of motherhood, with a straight forward and honest approach, as well as a little bit of humour. Kirsty is passionate about sharing the realities of #MumLife, not the cookie cutter, high gloss version