There it was again... The not so distant cry of a chubby 8 month old. I reluctantly rolled out of bed and leant over the cot next to me. There she was, smiling up at me, clearly not interested in sleep until she's attached to one part of me or another. I could see no other way to achieve sleep that night, other than to put her into bed with me. Bleary eyed, I laid her down, rearranged the bed for a night of baby cuddles, and attempt to climb in myself. Then like a bat outta hell, some asshat comes in and pushes me off the bed!!! Oh wait... That was all me. Yep... I was on the floor, a big pile of pajamas and hair, feet in the air and my head smooshed somewhere between the bed and the side table. These last few years (YEARS!!!!!) of sleep deprivation, have seen me come up with my fair share of injuries. Who knew that nighttime mummying would be so perilous!
In the last few weeks, we've gravitated back to a co-sleeping situation. Nathan sleeps on a mattress in Abbie's room, and Ellie sleeps in the porta-cot next to me again. Our house is laid out so that for Ellie to be in her own room, I practically need a cut lunch and a compass to find my way down there for night feeds and cuddles, and with whatever little brain explosion she's going through right now, it's not worth the cold, dark trek(s)!
A few weeks back, when baby sleep was something that actually occurred in this house, I put my hiking boots on (aka. fluffy elephant slippers), and set off down to Ellie's room around 2am for her ONE AND ONLY night feed (oh how the mighty hath fallen). Somewhere along the way I walked directly into the rather large clothes horse in the living room, and I mean this thing is HUGE. How the hell did I not see it? I'm pretty sure I make my way around the house with my eyes closed half the time. My pyjamas actually got caught, resulting in a struggle of epic proportions, and the entire contraption collapsing and crashing to the ground...
Or there's the time that Nath and I were both in Abbie's room at some stage throughout the night (in retrospect we should have just all moved in there), and he quietly closed the door behind him as he left. I was completely unaware of this fact, and walked head first into the damn thing as I tried to creep out! Needless to say, the bang, and the inevitable expletives that came cascading out of my mouth like word-vomit, would've be been enough to wake half of Brisbane... And you guessed it, Abbie was no longer asleep. Back to square one!
The other one that comes to mind is from a few months back, not long after we brought Ellie back from the hospital. As expected, Abbie had a few hiccups while we were all settling in. One particular day, our previously competent self settler was having a little trouble with her nap. So I made myself comfy on the floor, arm through the cot bars and proceeded with the little back rub I know she likes. Somewhere along the lines, my own exhaustion took over, after all, it was quiet, dark and a perfect sleeping temperature. The constant hum of the ceiling fan is guaranteed to knock me out faster you can blink. Clearly my back rub worked, and I woke to find Abbie asleep (YESSS!!!!) and my forehead wedged into the cot bars. Yep, asleep sitting up, head between the cot bars.
I'm not even gonna start on the Carpel Tunnel in my left arm caused by carrying a baby buddha around everywhere, while attempting to complete every other task with one hand, or the numerous pregnancy and birth related injuries. I'm sure it's just karma... I'm also certain at some stage my dad will read this and remind me of the time he woke with a bang, to find himself underneath one of our beds following one sleep battle or another... Or how, when I was a baby, I would get tossed to him like a football the minute he walked through the door in the afternoon, and the ONLY way he could get me to sleep was by walking dizzily, clockwise around the billiard table singing to me (hmm are sleep issues hereditary??). At some point in the very distant future, when my girls become mothers to their own darling little sleep terrorists, I'll find immense pleasure in regaling them with these stories!
I guess it's the circle of life (thanks Mufasa- I've seen The Lion King too many times lately), all I can say is my girls had better enjoy their sleep when they finally find it, cause mummy's already planning her revenge!
Behind the blog...
‘The Mummysomniac’ is a lifestyle, motherhood and most recently, pregnancy blog, founded in 2015 by Kirsty McKenzie. She’s a mum of three, blogging about the highs and lows of motherhood, with a straight forward and honest approach, as well as a little bit of humour. Kirsty is passionate about sharing the realities of #MumLife, not the cookie cutter, high gloss version