Advice to my first-time mum self...

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Oh, to be able to reflect on times gone by and think about how else you might have tackled particular situations, had you the knowledge you do now. I often wonder what I would do differently, if I could go back with the knowledge I have now, and how that would feel. The whole point is though, that you need to go through those tough times to be able to gain that knowledge, otherwise we would learn nothing along the way.

Here in our household, we're a long, long way past our first time parent selves, not to say that we get it right, or that we've got everything under control, but I think our journey has given us both a sense of perspective, that only hitting rock bottom, and having to rebuild yourself can give. There are a number of things though, that I would love to go back to tell my first-time parent self...

1. It does get easier...

And then harder, and then easier, and then harder, and then easier. Catch my drift? As the babies grow and change, just when you start to feel on top of it, or that you know what to expect, it all changes. THEY change. In time you will learn to just go with the flow. Easier said than done for many of us. I am NOT naturally a 'Go with the flow' kinda gal, but I am learning. So when the shit hits the fan, take it in stride. Know that you'll figure this shit out, but that the next level shit is just around the corner.

2. They will sleep... One day...

Look, sleep deprivation is a slow and painful form of torture. I've been subject to this torture for almost 3 years now, on and off. Each babe is different, just like each person. No two can be treated exactly the same. Some respond to a little tough love, some need constant attachment. Just go with it. One day it will end, and you might even miss those quiet nighttime cuddles, cause let me tell you, as they grow, their little bodies are always on the move, and often times, too busy for a quiet cuddle with their mumma. There's nothing you're doing wrong, and sometimes nothing you can do to change it. Adapt, do what works for you. Sleep, is sleep my friend.

3. SCREW THE JUDGEMENT...

Easier said than done, I know. For some reason, the second you become pregnant, you wear a sign on your back that says, 'Please comment on me and my life'... Or so people think. It sucks, and you will cop it. The best thing you can do is develop a thick skin. Your choice (or lack thereof) to birth YOUR way, to breastfeed or bottle feed, to co-sleep or sleep separately, will suddenly become public opinion. Be selective in who you open up to. Or if you're going to be open to the world, know that judgement is rife in the mummy world, but it's often simply due to the particular hang ups of the judger. Don't take it on board. As my old mate TayTay says, 'SHAKE IT OFF'.

4. PND is a real thing...

I don't really have much more to say here, but if you think it's not right, it's probably not right. Talk, tell people, scream it from the roof tops if you have to. You DO NOT need to go through it alone. You are NOT failing. You are human, and it's ok to admit that you really need some help.

5. Find your tribe...

This is so important. Find people, even just one person that gets you. An aunt, grandmother, friend, work colleague, INSTA BESTIE! Whoever. It's so important to have people that you can be open to without fear of judgement. I know, I know, sometimes it's like 'BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW?'. Unfortunately, you might get burned along the way, but that's their loss. Kick them to the curb, you don't need that kind of negativity in your life right now. I have found so much support through blogging, which goes to show, that sometimes you find your tribe in the most unexpected places... but they are out there.

6. Braggarts, big noters, narcissists, haters, fakers, judgers, backstabbers, manipulators (ok, i'll stop now) ALWAYS get their comeuppance...

Leave all that behind you. Don't stoop to their level. It's called Karma, and Karma can be a bitch... And good Karma is coming your way.

7. Take a step back...

ALWAYS take a step back to reevaluate a situation. It's not always as bad as it may seem at the time. Being in the depths of sleep deprivation, or a feeding strike, or any number of other things that these little critters can throw at you. Again, THIS IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE. Try to take a moment, a breather. It could always be worse. Note, this doesn't mean that you aren't in the thick of it, and it doesn't suck a big fat hairy pair of balls, but it really could be worse.

8. Follow your gut, not a book...

I don't give a crap what Tizzie Hall or Pinky McKay says. While they might offer some very solid advice FOR SOME PEOPLE, it's not for everyone. Trust your gut. Tizzie hasn't met your babe, and i'm pretty sure they weren't cut from he same cloth as hers. You know more than you think you do. Trust it.

9. You will love them more than you ever thought possible...

Amen sister... You will, it's scary how much sometimes... Enough to make every sleepless night worth it.

10. You're a rockstar mumma, and you totally got this!!