A Bitter Sweet Mother's Day...

Of recent years, motherhood has become a little bittersweet for me.

​I love the fact that I (supposedly) get a day that's all about me and my #mumlife. A day where I can be treated like the queen (of the washing pile), and even catch a sleep in (ok, ok, I'll stop making jokes now). That's the sweet part. The bitter part lies in the fact that neither Nathan nor I have a mother around to share the day with, or to celebrate.

It's no secret that I have always had a somewhat strained or estranged relationship with my own mother, and sadly, Nathan's wonderfully supportive and beautiful (in every way) mum passed away a few short months before Abbie was born. She was taken far too soon, too soon for all of us. I don't think as you grow older, that you stop needing the support and guidance that a mum can provide... and if that's no longer available to you, I think you inevitably, whether of conscious decision or not, seek it out.

-For me it's in the love and warmth from my dad. The hours and hours of conversation, the laughter and the confidence of knowing that I am in a safe place. The comfort of a hug, and the ability to convey a message with a look.

Me, and my dad. Exploring the world together... Freezing our butts off on a bus in Washington DC. Possible the ugliest photo ever, but the best possible memories!

-It's in the bonds formed with friends, the years between us, the countless conversations, tears, the sharing of triumphs and failures. Knowing that these women have developed their own form of wisdom, and that sometimes (ok, always) know me better than I know myself.

To all of my amazing friends, I wish I could upload a photo of you all. You know who you are.

​-It's with my sisters. Growing together, sharing everything. Everything from the highlights to the deepest darkness. What we have experienced together runs deep, incredibly deep.

My sisters, together we've shared so much!

​-It's my aunts. The women who have known me since my birth. The women who have cared for me as a child, know so many embarrassing stories, and who I've found myself turning to as an adult for answers... about everything.

Me and my aunt Heather.

​In my humble opinion, there's so much more than biology that defines you as a mother. It seems that any one can bear a child... but to be a mother takes so much more than just that one act. I have been lucky. My lack of mother has forced me to think outside the square. I have sought wisdom and comfort in some interesting places, and I'm lucky to be able to say that I have that.

Every year around this time, I have to sit and reflect. Needless to say, that over the years my version of 'Mother's Day' has changed a little. These days I like to focus on the not so celebrated mothers. The step mums, the foster mums, the 'should be' mums, those who have been touched by infertility. The mums of babies born sleeping, or angel babies, the mums of babies born too soon. The aunts, both biological and by choice, the teachers, the mentors, and the role models. Anyone who has ever filled a void for someone, anyone who's ever wiped away tears, or dusted off grazed knees, anyone who's ever loved another's child like there own.

So happy mothers day to the unconventional mums... You're loved and appreciated more than you know!