I sat in the car, tears steaming down my face. I'd finally hit breaking point. So for a brief moment, I was alone, save the two sleeping babes behind me, and I let it all out. I'd been holding it together for so long, really only allowing my husband to catch glimpse of how I was really feeling... but why?
It's taken me three babies, and four long years to really learn how to trust my gut. To figure out that the little voice deep in the back of my subconscious, my intuition, is actually pretty spot on.
When my eldest was about 3.5 months old, I took her to my local GP. Her ears were red, and beginning to split, her gums were swollen, cheeks were flushed, and she was chewing on everything... not to mention the drool! I wanted to check up on her redding ears, just to be on the safe side, and rule out an ear infection. I mentioned this to the doctor, and told him that I was fairly certain she's just teething, but wanted to some reassurance. His response startled me. He said,
'No. It's not possible. She won't start teething until she's at least 6 or 7 months old'
And then he promptly sent me on my way.
There's a part of me that honestly cannot believe that I'm sitting here typing out my third and final birth story... ok, not that I've ever really put pen to paper about the first two, I suppose I should at some stage. It's just, I won't be doing this again.
Those of you that have been following me for a while will know that throughout the pregnancy, the possibility of this baby being delivered via Cesarean was highly likely. You'll also know that at times, this caused me great anxiety. Mostly due to the perceptions surrounding Cesarean birth, the comparisons between how we choose to give birth, and the judgement that comes along with that. What I have since learned, is that for me, those perceptions were entirely my own. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about how I gave birth, what matters is what I think about how I gave birth... in the end, that's the only perception that matters.
Every now and then, certain publications come out with these lists of 'Bloggers to watch out for' or, 'Top 10 Insta mums you need to follow'. The problem with these lists, are that they're always the usual suspects. The ones that many of us already follow, they're uber popular and have followings that rank in the tens, if not hundreds of thousands. Yet, every time I read one of these lists, I think of all the amazing bloggers out there that I absolutely love, that are well worth their weight in cheesecake. They're the ones I always look out for, the ones I always read, the ones I find myself nodding along in agreement with, or putting my pelvic floors to the test, trying not the wee myself cause they're actually funny as balls. SO, I thought I'd put together a list of my personal faves, ok, I had to cut the list down, I literally can't put ALL of my faves, so here's a selection of bloggers/Insta-mums that I think everyone should be following...
Aka... Kirsty's frequently stalked list. You're welcome.
I'm a woman of small stature. I've never been in the 'above average' category for anything really... except during pregnancy, and possibly my aptitude for food consumption. You see, I'm one of those anomalies. One of those women that somehow manages to grow babies that are too large for their bodies, and no matter how many times someone says to me, 'Your body won't grow a baby bigger than it can handle', it doesn't change the fact for me, I just do.
Immediately after the birth of our second child, my husband and I chose to send out a large group text to close family and friends, letting them know that the baby had arrived safely. After all, at that point in the process, that's all we could even really think about. The following day we were met with a few unhappy recipients, we were met with questions like,
There’s no singular reason way a person will wake up on any given day and decide, “I’m going to start a blog”. The reasons are as varied as the blogs out there in the blogosphere to read. Some start as a way to connect to others, some start as a way to (attempt to) catapult themselves into the limelight, others might have a grand plan, and the blog is their stepping stone… and others might simply become a blogger by accident. The one thing connecting each and every one of us, are the misconceptions clouding the blog world. The “appearance vs. reality” type scenarios that each and every one of us have, and have discovered along the way. The deeper we delve, and the longer we hang on, the more we discover.
Originally published as a guest blog at "Alice In Healthy Land"
As my very first (ever) stretch marks began to emerge, somewhere throughout my first pregnancy, I’m afraid to say, I cried…
I don’t think for me, that it was vanity. I struggle with change, or at least I have at times in the past (even chopping my mum bun off recently took some serious commitment). I think for me, simply, it’s hard to see something you’ve become so used to seeing, your own body, change so rapidly. After all, I had become accustomed to my pre-pregnancy body slowly changing over the previous 27 years. Yet the changes that we experience during pregnancy are over but a fraction of the time that we had with our bodies before. After a while, I accepted the changes (stretch marks and new outie belly button to be precise)… even grew to be fond of them. After all, they represent one of my greatest accomplishments in life, my eldest daughter. And believe me when I say ‘accomplishment’, the kid didn’t sleep until she was 3.5, it’s amazing that I’m even half as sane as I am.
Did anyone else get the 'What to Expect When you're Expecting' App during their first pregnancy? Cause for me, it was 2012, and books were so passe... it was all about the app. I read it religiously. Each and every week, I looked at what was going on inside this little body of mine, wondering what my little bean was doing in there. I can now confidently cross 'sleeping' off the list, cause let's face it, we all know she STILL doesn't do that well.
The thing was, my pregnancy didn't really turn out ANYTHING like that at all. I'm still waiting for my 'glow' and my heightened sex drive to turn up. Instead I got a whole bunch of other things that the app creators were conveniently too polite to mention. I had to find out the hard way, on my own, or risk looking like a fool in front of some close trusted friend or relative. So, now that I'm four years on from those times, (almost) three whole pregnancies down, I thought I'd present to you the ACTUAL 'What to Expect When You're Expecting'... Kirsty edition. You're welcome.
I would also advise you to turn away now if you're any of the following;
a) Become queasy easily.
b) Like to live in a fantasy land full of daisies and rainbows.
c) Do not like reference to genitalia.
d) Are easily grossed out by the mention of bodily fluid.
e) A prude.
f) Do not have a sense of humour.
g) Do not get sarcasm.
h) My Father... you probs just don't wanna read this dad. Soz.
If you've made it this far, sit back, relax (as much as you can while reading something that I've written), have a giggle if you've 'been there, done that', and if you're going through this for the first time... I'm sorry (not sorry) you had to find out this way.
Everywhere you turn, there’s a different pregnancy myth coming your way;
-If you carry high and wide, it’s a girl
-If you carry low and narrow, it’s a boy
-You get heartburn? Then the baby will be born with lots of hair
But my personal favourite is the one they tell your hubby;
-Just wait till she gets into the second trimester, she’ll be ripping your clothes off faster than a teenage girl whips her knickers off at a One Direction concert.
Behind the blog...
‘The Mummysomniac’ is a lifestyle, motherhood and most recently, pregnancy blog, founded in 2015 by Kirsty McKenzie. She’s a mum of three, blogging about the highs and lows of motherhood, with a straight forward and honest approach, as well as a little bit of humour. Kirsty is passionate about sharing the realities of #MumLife, not the cookie cutter, high gloss version